Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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