I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize