At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
