there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
