Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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