Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
smell my finger.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize