the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
