what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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