Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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