if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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