People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
