Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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