I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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