oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
