ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Damn victory sex feels great
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