A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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