Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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