Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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