just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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