I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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