Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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