Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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