apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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