We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
