I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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