is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
