No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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