This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
