I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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