epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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