Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
