I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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