operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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