Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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