C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
