It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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