Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
