What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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