she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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