Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
