I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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