Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
