You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
