At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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