My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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