Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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