yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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