where am i from again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
