I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
