i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
