This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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