just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize