hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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