i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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