can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
