Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
