you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
