we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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