shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
please don't ironically join a cult
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