rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
