There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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