last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
