The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
