if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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