I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
