I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
