Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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