Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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