it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize