...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
