So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
