Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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