he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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