I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
